Prank War
by mindprisoner
Summary: It started with the states, but then it moved to the rest of the world. There's a prank war going DOWN right now. Alliances will be made. Friendships will be broken. Pick a team, see how long it lasts.
1. Chapter 1

Hey, you may recognize these first 2 chapters from Hetalia Adventures, but just the first two. These two chapters are just for background for people who haven't read HA.(Though later chapters will contain references to events that happened in HA)

* * *

"Alright, we are going to prank our little bros so hard, that-" North Carolina started to say.

"Wait, I thought South Carolina was the older one," North Dakota commented. North Dakota was about 12 years old and wore some spiffy(as spiffy as you can get in freaking overalls) overalls, and was popping sunflower seeds in her mouth every now and then. Her dirty blonde hair was dirty(lolpuns), and hung in a low ponytail down past her neck.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THAT? I'M THE OLDER ONE!" NC said(read yelled)

"Maybe because he decided to beat up Britain like a year before you did."

"...I thought you were my friend."

"What ever! Let's just come up with a good prank!"

"Let's-" NC started to say AGAIN.

"We are NOT tarring their heels."

"Well, I'm out of ideas."

* * *

"We are going to prank those sissies so hard!" South Carolina said. The NC lookalike lacked the hair also known as the Outer Banks, but made up for it with his eagerness to declare independence. He was also a good 5 maybe 6 inches shorter than his sister.

"If we could come up with a good prank," South Dakota responded. He looked like his older twin, but had a big-ass hat that rivaled even Texas'.

"Shut up! Just think harder!"

"Quick question."

"What is it?"

"How do I think?"

"YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST YANKEE I HAVE EVER SEEN, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE COOL SINCE YOU HAVE SOUTH IN YOUR NAME, BUT OH MY GOD ARE YOU DUMB!"

They began to fight until NC and ND, who were out of ideas, walked past the room, heard the commotion, and opened the door. Laughing, they came up with an idea on the spot, and locked the door. It was one of those awesome doors that lock from the outside, and it was commonly used by America to get states to "calm the fuck down before someone comes over and sees how you idiots are." The two states slipped a note under the door saying

Cardinals are red  
Wild Prairie Roses are pink  
You may ask how we found you  
We just followed your stink

Signed,  
The North Southern State  
The North Northern State

P.S. Roanoke wants me to smack/hit/kick/kill you.  
P.P.S. He was hiding in a fucking TREE.


	2. Chapter 2

Ohio was walking through the house. Not his house, America's house. Where all the states normally stayed unless something crazy was going on or something.

Needless to say, It got LOUD.

While he was walking past the Closet Of Calm The Fuck Down Before Someone Comes Over And Sees How You Idiots Are, he heard some random fighting inside. America would never put two states in the Calm Down Closet together, he would put them in the Closets Of No More Civil Wars Ever So Stop Fighting. Those closets were not fun. He had to go in there a few times when he was fighting with NC over the first in flight thing.

So Ohio knocked on the door, and heard whomever was inside stop fighting. "What's going on in there?" He called.

"Let us out now!" He heard a voice call. It had a southern accent. And it sounded kinda thick. Ohio hoped it wasn't one of the states still bitter about losing the civil war. That would suck.

But, if he didn't open the door, those states would be even madder at him. Maybe Alaska was in there, and that would be horrible. That dude's creepier than Russia! And he lived closer!

So Ohio opened the door. He found two states, it looked like South Dakota and that guy that started the Civil War... Well, he was still a little mad about losing the Civil War. At least South Dakota was here to help him if he needed to kill that South Carolina guy.

"Hey! It's Ohio! Hey Ohio, you don't like NC that much either!" South Carolina said.

"Well, we have a rivalry going and-" Ohio tried to say.

"Great! You wanna help us get back at her and North Dakota?" SC asked.

"Umm...Sure?" Ohio nervously said. Then he spied a piece of paper on the floor. "Hey, what's this?" Ohio read the paper out loud.

Cardinals are red

Wild Prairie Roses are pink

You may ask how we found you

We just followed your stink

Signed,

The North Southern State

The North Northern State

P.S. Roanoke wants me to smack/hit/kick/kill you.

P.P.S. He was hiding in a fucking TREE.

"A tree? Are you serious Roanoke? Gosh! We almost got in huge trouble!" SC said.

"Who's Roanoke?" a confused SD asked.

"He's this colony. I'll tell you later. You're too young to understand."

* * *

NC and ND were having a celebration. They were having a great time congratulating themselves on outsmarting their brothers, when the lights went out.

"What's going on?" ND asked to no one in particular.

"It's just the boys. They're trying to scare us." NC said. Then she leaned in and whispered. "Act really scared at them. I have an idea."

She used some Voodoo that Louisiana had taught her to change her clothes into Blackbeard's clothes. Ah, Blackbeard. That dude was awesome. She also summoned a fake Blackbeard head. Sorry Blackbeard, she thought, But this is to get my idiot brother. Pulling the pirate outfit up so it covered her face, she peeked out through two very convenient holes, and tucked the fake head under her arm.

"Pretend I was never here and that you can't see me," NC told ND, and she moved over to the door. ND grabbed a piece of cake, and sat down in a chair, pretending like she was annoyed that the TV went out.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooh," Came three voices. Following NC's orders ND started to look around act scared.

"Who's there?" She said. In came SC, SD, and Ohio dressed up as zombies. "OH MY GOD!"

This was just too easy, thought NC. She stepped out from her place near the door and put her free hand on SC's shoulder.

He turned around and screamed causing the other male states to turn towards SC and freak out. They weren't alive during Blackbeard's time, but sure had heard stories.

"Guys, come on. You got me. But why are you screaming at nothing? Seriously!" SD said. She was now having a hard time not laughing at the three scared states.

"I-It's B-B-Bl-BLACKBEARD!" SC screamed.

"North Carolina is under my protection. Do not bother her, or you might wake up and find you have no navy or cargo ships," NC said, in a damn good imitation of Blackbeard's voice.

"Y-Yes, Sir," SC said. Even SD and Ohio, who really had nothing to fear, were completely terrified. They then ran out of the room.

"DADDY!" They were yelling.

North Carolina poked her head out. "Should we get America?" She asked.

"I heard Britain is over here," ND responded.

* * *

Britain and America were playing chess. America was losing.

"This game is IMPOSSIBLE!" America yelled.

Britain was just about to say something when three horrified states ran in and all started talking at once.

"CALM DOWN!" America yelled at his kids. "Now, what happened?"

"We were gonna prank North Carolina and North Dakota," said SD.

"And then they locked us in the Calm Down Closet," SC said.

"And then I saved them and we were gonna prank them," Said Ohio.

"So we turned off the lights in the living room," Said SD.

"And we were dressed like zombies," Said SC. The face make-up had rubbed off mostly from their tears of terror.

"And we got North Dakota good, but North Carolina wasn't there," Ohio said.

"And then Blackbeard came and tried to kill us!" Finished South Carolina.

"Wait. I thought Blackbeard died!" Britain said.

"OMG! Blackbeard is a GHOST!" America was now freaking out.

"How do you survive? It was obviously just an illusion in the dark," the Logical Britain said.

Just then, NC, who had placed the fake head on top of hers, so it looked exactly like Blackbeard, walked in.

"BLOODY HELL!" Britain screamed.

NC then took off the fake head and threw it at Britain, who freaked out even more. America and the other states ran out of the room, leaving Britain behind to die.

"Well, hello, Mr. Blackbeard. Would you like another Royal Pardon?" Britain nervously asked.

"No."

Britain proceeded to wet himself and run out of the room. ND caught the whole thing on camera from an air duct.

ND jumped out of the duct, and NC used Voodoo to change back into her regular clothes.

"We need to do this again," ND said.

"Oh, yeah."


	3. Chapter 3

It started off rather harmless.

Just North Carolina and North Dakota against South Carolina and South Dakota.

Then Ohio got involved.

Then, one day, every other state heard about it.

This is that day.

"So this is the first North American British colony?" ND asked. "But he's so SMALL!"

"Shut up!" Roanoke told her. "I'm still way older than you!"

"Be nice, Roanoke! So, you wanna help us prank South?" NC asked the 5-year old.

"What's a prank?" Roanoke wondered.

"He doesn't know what a prank is and we're trying to get him on our side?" ND said.

"Not my fault, this guys from the 1500's. I'm still trying to get him up to date on stuff," NC told her.

"So, we get to beat up South Carolina and that Dakota guy?" Roanoke said.

"Well, we can't actually kill them, but non-life threatening injuries are allowed!" NC said.

And so Roanoke joined NC and ND against SC, SD, and Ohio.

* * *

"Let's take her tar." SC had just come up with the most evil plan ever. "Then we can use it against them."

"Use what against who?" Roanoke walked in the room.

"Who's this?" Ohio asked.

"I'm older than you, jerk!" Roanoke fired back at Ohio. "TELL ME NOW!"

"Hey, you wanna help us prank North Carolina and some girl you've never met?" SC asked. "And LOOK AT YOU SO BIG YOU'RE SO CUUUUUUUUTTTTE!" And Roanoke got his cheeks pinched and his ribs crushed in a hug.

"GET OFF ME, JERK! And why would I want to help either one of you! You left me in a tree for 500 YEARS!"

"You WHAT?" SD said.

"Long story. Hey, Roanoke, I heard North had some sweet tea," SC said, effectively ridding them of the tiny colony.

"So what do we do once we take the tar?" Ohio said.

"I know just the thing!"

What they didn't know was that Roanoke was right outside the door, recording the whole conversation. He was supposed to give it back to NC and ND, but instead, he ran into the living room to where most of the states were, and yelled "THERE'S A PRANK WAR GOING ON!"

Everyone freaked out and formed alliances, ran away, or grabbed stuff and ran to different rooms in the house.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm scared!" Hawaii whispered. She, California, and Florida were now hiding up a tree, away from the other states.

"Yeah, I don't really wanna be pranked either, that pretty much explains why we're 40 FEET UP A TREE," Florida added.

"Dudes, what if we, like, take, like, water balloons and, like, drop them on peoples heads, and then, like, pour flour on them!" California suggested.

"That might actually work!" Florida said. "Alright, Cali, get the flour. Hawaii, come with me, we'll get the balloons!"

"I think we need a really cool team name!" Hawaii said.

"How about, like, umm... The Surfing Squad!" California said excitedly, and almost fell out of the tree.

"Cool!" Florida agreed. And so they all ran to go get their stuff.

* * *

And so Florida and Hawaii were filling up water balloons as quickly as they could at a garden hose.

Then a lone state came running up to them. "Guys, I'm all alone! Help me!"

"No, _Mary_," Florida said, "Go ally with someone more gullible!"

Maryland flinched a bit at being called Mary. He just had to be born with a girl's name. "Fine. But at least know this: New England's looking like they've allied, and are about to hold a giant raid on anyone they can find. And Hawaii?"

"Yeah?"

"Your shoe's untied." And Maryland turned and ran.

"NO HAWAII DON'T-" Florida started, but it was too late. Hawaii had looked down to tie her flip-flops. Realizing she had been pranked, Hawaii silently promised herself to prank Maryland back in the best way ever.

* * *

10 minutes later, Florida and Hawaii were done filling the balloons, and faced a challenge they did not anticipate when forming the plan: getting the balloons up the tree.

The master plan they concocted was to tie a rope around the buckets that held the water balloons and haul the stuff up pulley-style.

California was already safely up the tree with like 5 bags of flour. "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?" She yelled down.

"SHUT IT!" Florida yelled back. "CATCH!" And Florida threw the rope up to California, who caught it inches from her face. "PULL THAT OVER THAT BRANCH ABOVE YOU AND PULL ON IT!"

California did what she was told for about the 12th time in her life, and the water balloons were safely up the tree in about a minute, followed by the other two members of the Surfing Squad.

"Now what?" Hawaii asked.

"We wait for an idiot to walk under the tree," Florida responded.

30 minutes later, no idiot had walked under the tree.

"How much longerrrrrr," Hawaii complained.

"Until an idiot walks under the tree!"

5 minutes later, Hawaii was out. "Forget this; I'm finding Alaska."

"Hawaii, if you're not with us, you're, like, against us," California pointed out.

"Don't care, lived through worse than water balloons and flour, and mostly immortality is TOO SHORT TO SPEND IN A DANG TREE!" Hawaii yelled, climbing down the tree.

"As soon as she hits the ground, throw all the water balloons you can at her," Florida whispered, earning a nod from California.

And Hawaii hit the ground running, not getting hit a single time by a balloon, as she expertly dodged them all. She even turned around and ran backwards a bit, sending a very rude hand gesture towards her former teammates.

"How does she, like, know that! She's, like, 8!" A very shocked California said.


	5. Chapter 5

Hawaii was pretty irked about sitting in that tree all that time and then being betrayed(although she left the group, so she wasn't really being betrayed, but Hawaii refused to see that). So she was going to find the most dangerous, psychopathic state.

Alaska.

She also knew allying with Alaska would be the opposite of boring, and he would never betray her.

And she thought he was kinda cute.

ANYWAYS, Hawaii had this hunch that Alaska would be on the roof, with some kind of really dangerous, deadly trap, like boiling oil, or a sniper rifle, you get the idea.

So Hawaii tried to climb up the side of the house.

It didn't work.

So Hawaii went inside to go up to the roof.

Something she instantly regretted.

As soon as she opened the door, she got pelted with eggs. And they weren't exactly fresh. But it's all cool, because the bucket of water above the door spilled on her, cleaning her off a bit. She couldn't see who was throwing eggs, but Hawaii made a mental note to murder them later.

She then ran to the stairs, dodging eggs inefficiently on her way, when she saw the shimmer of saran wrap a second too late, and faceplanted. The assembly line of pranks kept going on, and flour was thrown all over the wet, eggy Hawaii, who was now having an even harder time seeing, after some flour was thrown in her face.

"THIS IS MEAN!" She shouted, got up, and continued her sprint to the roof. Hawaii discovered that the next floors were safer than the first, and got to the roof without any trouble. Y'know, besides that whole first floor fiasco.

And...she was greeted by a gun pointed at her face. "ALASKA NO IT'S ME! HAWAII!"

"Prove it!" Alaska said.

"Uhhh...YOU SAID YOU KILLED 283 BEARS WITH YOUR BARE HANDS, BUT YOU'VE ONLY KILLED 282!"

"...Shut up!" Alaska said, put down the gun and started tearing up.

"I'm sorry! Hey, can I ally with you?"

"I thought you'd be with the spray-tan sisters."

Hawaii had to think about who he meant for a bit. "Oh! I was, but they were being boring, so I left."

"How do I know you're not a spy, huh?" Alaska put the gun up again.

"LOOK AT ME!" Hawaii said, gesturing to her floury, eggy, bruised, wet body. "Why would I do this just for spying!"

"Why not?"

"I will give you WARMTH," Hawaii said, knowing she had won.

"...fine."

"Yay!" Hawaii said, hugging Alaska, getting him floury, eggy, and wet.


End file.
